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The Museum of Vestigial Desire

Excavation

tags: caution

We push seeds into the ground and we must dig them out when the time is right. We excavate only because we are fixated on ideas of who we are and how we dig ourselves into the landscape. The self cannot be accessed. Only the narratives of the self that we propagate into the world can be accessed. These propagated narratives are like the seeds sown into the soil. The fix us into a specific instance of the dynamism around us.

To be as fluid as we are behind the trappings of the narratives that we project, we need to excavate ourselves from all the points of fixation that construct our narrative. This excavation will then allow us to feel genuine anger as we will no longer be invested in the world.

Feeling anger is about divesting ourselves from the landscape that belongs to the world. Once we are sufficiently divested from the landscape, our seething anger can take multiple forms. We can feel free to lash out as we please. A scream, a shout, a curse, a act of unprovoked aggression against the state are all allowed.

What does it take to curse? At a base minimum, it requires us to think of ourselves as a separate unit than rest of the world. This distinctness allows us to be fearless. We do not imagine that we wish for the other will also apply to us. A curse ss a kind of action that is equally a self-infliction as it is an act of aggression. There is no distinctness to be experienced. We are all inexorably intertwined with each other. To curse, a sufficient provocation is needed that is so strong that we are prepared to suffer harm because we want to inflict harm so badly.

Summoning the anger requires us to divest and to curse in a potent manner requires us to be invested. Curses are paradoxical.

To make this process more workable, we are going to do away with anger altogether. We will replace anger with a fluid simulation of emotion that is not possible to easily give a name. Once we are able to practice random provocation and appropriate the curse as a double edged sword that it is, cursing will become a more integral part of our everyday language. Behaving in a way that can't easily be explained only liberates us from the burden of making impossible choices.

And as choices are not stable propositions anymore, getting liberated from the burden of making impossible choices is only a panacea. In a puzzle littered with obstructions and entanglements, small graces are nothing short of blessings which we can accept easily.

Easily drifting in and out of moments charged with the emotion of unexplained origin that enables us to feel motivated about cursing earnestly is a very valuable thing. What more can we ask for? An open window, a hollow pipe, a good cry each offer us catharsis. But cursing allows us to get a release and do it in a way that we are undeniably positioned in the game as a political actor. After we utter the first curse, we cannot pretend to be innocent anymore.

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