The Museum of Vestigial Desire

Waiting

tags: self-annihilation published on:

We wait but we do not know what we wait for. That which is yet to happen is either a mystery or it is a strange episode of eruption. For us to treat that which has not happened with some form of welcome that looks at the episode of eruption with an eye that can integrate it within the folds of narrative within which it is situated is needed. Because we live in a minefield. And here on the minefield, every step is potentially an eruption. We need to find the prospect of progressive collapse amenable to our plans. In this pattern of collapse, we will find the fleeting sense of order.

The debris is all we have. Can we work with that which is left behind or do we need to experience the whole cycle of construction and destruction. The loop of becoming and unbecoming is a very basic facet of how we live our lives.

There is nothing to hold on to.

If we have to continue living like this, we have to be happy living with nothing. What is nothing? Nothing is not the absence of anything. Nothing is a landscape which does not have any discernible features. Nothing is conceptually analogous to formlessness and ambiguity. And living with nothing involves a comfort level in dealing with debris.

What is debris good for?

We can become really good with repurposing. We can become really good with misplaced vision. We do not need to remain faithful to any principle of experience. If we are living in a featureless terrain we can also have eventless lives. For us to feel comfortable with doing nothing, we need our environment to be broken down. We work only because we live in a world that partially works. To agitate successfully in the face of labour and the model of factory production that we are appropriated within, we need to behave nihilistically. We need to be driven only to undo everything. Unbridled aggression needs to be possible. We are not committed towards the longevity of any feature in the landscape except the seed of our own lust flying off into the air.

We wait only for this to happen.

We wait only for the infection of our angst to spread and become a condition of the landscape. How can you be angry with someone who is already angry? At that point, your anger will turn inwards and get involved with the lofty and necessary project of self-destruction.

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